His Grace.

I know I already posted today, but I saw this on one of my favorite blogs (chattingatthesky.com) and I couldn't help but repost, I felt like I prayed this exact prayer earlier today.

"Oh God, gather me now to be with you as you are with me.

Soothe my tiredness;
quiet my fretfulness;
curb my aimlessness;
relieve my complusiveness;
let me be easy for a moment.

O Lord, release me
from the fears and guilts which grip me so tightly;
from the expectations and opinions which I so tightly grip,
that I may be open
to receiving what you give,
to risking something genuinely new,
to learning something refreshingly different.

Forgive me
for claiming so much for myself
that I leave no room for gratitude;
for confusing exercises in self-importance
with acceptance of self-worth;
for complaining so much of my burdens
that I become a burden;
for competing against others so insidiously
that I stifle celebrating them
and receiving your blessing through their gifts.

O God, gather me to be with you as you are with me.

Amen."

Ted Loder, Guerillas of Grace

A Prayer for Restoration

Dear Father,
            Renew within me the fire you set in my heart this past summer. God renew within me the thirst I have for you, the desire for something more, the hope for something beautiful. God, I am never content with earthly things, only your true glory satisfies. Your blameless nature, your flawless love, God let me desire that. Not the attention of others, not the cooing and ahhhing of an audience, but rather I simply wish to desire your love.
           God I don't understand my jealousy of others. I don't see why I wish sometimes to be different. You created me special, and everyone else unique as well. You love us all equally, but know us each intimately and separately. Why do I wish for more than I have, when I am already so blessed. Forgive me. Forgive me for coveting and jealousy and unkind words and impure thoughts.
           Lord, I love you and I'm so very sorry for the times when I act as though I don't. I'm not perfect and you know that, so thank you for cleansing me with your son's blood. Thank you for forgiving and purifying me. I will love you always.
Love,
Your daugther

Sweet Cider and Taylor Swift

Today was a beautiful day. I sat in sunshine and watched my senior girls play powder-puff football for homecoming week. And then went to church. I was utterly exhausted, but worship was beautiful and sitting among my small group girls was amazing. And at home I came home and listened to Swifty's new CD and sipped sweet cold apple cider. And in this all I rested. And received some fun freedom from the week's craziness. So here I sit, finally blogging, listening to Swift, and drinking sweet cider. Let's all take a long sigh of relief.

Aaaaaah.

P.S. Here's one of my favorite songs on swift's new CD.

Rest.

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46.10

Wait quietly.

“Wait quietly in My presence while My thoughts form silently in the depths of your being. Do not try to rush this process, because hurry keeps your heart earthbound.“ - Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
              
                I'm going to be so honest here. Today was confusing and stressful and great and horrible all in the same. I leave tomorrow for 3 days to visit a possible future college choice. Its been so busy here and just the thought of being our of the loop for 3 days doesn't appeal to me. But, I'm still going. On top of it all, I'm finishing up the application process for a few colleges, which is rather stressful, and preparing for another application. I'm also missing my sister horribly and feeling rather lonely. I don't know which guy to like and who to trust. And on top of that all I have school and church ministries and academic scholarship programs and.....

Hush.

In the middle of all my complaining and ranting about all my troubles my eternal Love comes in and quiets me. I just need somewhere to breath. Something to rejuvenate me. And He will do just that. I don't want a hurried earthbound heart, but rather one that is caught up in Christ's peaceful and calming beauty.

My Sonnet - Thy Love

Love is not itself if it is not won,

If it is not grasped for and sought after,

Love is a journey not a condition.

It is a lifelong exultant laughter.

Love cries like sailors’ constant petitions,

To join their ship that salvages the heart,

From absorbing waters of division

That form maelstroms to tear true love apart.

So where is thine own love, thy man of bronze?

Where is He to win thy heart and thy hand?

Does he sit in a boat on a lake of swans?

Does he wait by water on calescent sand?

Or has he already lowly been seen,

Born amongst hay and dying on a tree?

Warring.

Will I ever learn? Will I ever stop being so shallow? Will I ever learn to grow up? God, I wish I could keep my lips closed. I wish I could keep my heart unshaken. I wish I could contain my feelings. It hurts me. To look back and see myself so prideful. So full of myself and full of my own desires. Where is that heart of Christ I long for? Where is the beautifully redeemed side of me? I wish it would shine through. I wish I could simply be Yours God. I hate sin. But by do I do what I so much hate? Why do I still war against my fleshly self when it has already been put to death? O dear God, please help me.

  "14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.      21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.(Romans 7: 14-25) 

 

Our Groom.

I read this article on one of my favorite blogs, please read it and click on the link below. Its absolutely amazing. Enjoy!

The Proposal

In every season...

In every season... I will praise you.

❤Joyfully Single❤

     
           You may have noticed a lot of posts lately about relationships or romance or just genuinely cutesy writing. I'm sure the Shakespeare's sonnet and "Dear Diary" post may have caught your attention. After much prayer and a few chats with God, I've realized that right now is a time for me to embrace being joyfully single. You see, nothing's wrong with having small crushes or dating, but rather the priority it has in your life. If it takes away from your relationship with God, its probably not the most fruitful thing to be doing at the moment. And that's what I realized. I'm leaving for college and less than a year as it is so any relationship I might eventually form would be short-lived considering my quick departure. Right now in life I want to be inseparable with my creator. Completely and hopelessly in love with Him.
       Knowing that I could easily get too attached to someone God hasn't intended for me is also something I have remembered in making decision these days. A quote by C.S. Lewis caught my eye recently. It states,

"Don't let your happiness depend on something that you may lose."

           I know that I will never ever lose Christ. He'll never walk away. So, as long as my happiness depends on Him, I know I shall never be let down. He will never leave me. He's my true love. I'm not a princess because I'm married to a prince, but rather because my Father is a King.

Affirmation in Christ.

Let me not be affirmed this world. Let not my definition come from others. Let not my joy come from circumstance. Let not my confidence come from spoken words. Let me not love others because of their position or for their love back. Let me not define beauty by the magazines. Let me not dictate my actions by my emotions. Let me not be affirmed by this world.

But let me be affirmed in Christ. Let Him define me. Let my joy come from his everlasting love. Let my confidence be in Him and His words. Let me love because he first hath loved. Let me seek true inward beauty. Let me live by his truths. Let me be affirmed in Christ.