10 days.

10 days until I go back to sunny florida for Christmas break. I can't describe how I feel about it. I'm not just saying that to be artsy, I mean it. I don't know how I feel about it. I love my home here in the mountains. How marvelous it is to be nestled up in my college window seat, chilly air numbing my fingers as they hit the keys of my computer. I feel as if I'm sitting up in the sky. The trees are all bare here and a deep gray has taken over the entire mountain. Today is the first day in a long time that the sun has been out and how marvelous it is, my relationship with this mountain is surely something special. As I typer a hang-glider is soaring adjacent to me over the valley below. How amazing to be here. How blessed I am. Oh how I love it.

Be all there.

        Rain taps against the glass. Lights whoosh by the car. The continual hum of pavement passes beneath the car. My parents converse in the front seats and I sit quietly in the back tapping on my keys. We’re driving 80mph away from the place I love so much – my Floridian home. I’m beginning to learn I have to be okay with moving on, letting go, and making new memories. I need to learn to make new memories in new places with new people. Recently a quote by Jim Eliot grabbed my attention. He stated, 

“Wherever you are, be all there.”

        That’s my goal now, to be wherever I am, and not just in physical presence, but completely there in all aspects. 

Idiosyncratic.

Unique. Quirky. Completely You. Are you idiosyncratic? Are you comfortable with being the quirky unusual amazing person God created you to be? Its hard for me to come out of my shell at times and be the person who is completely me. I get self conscience and worry so much about what others think, but in the end I find out I am totally and utterly idiosyncratic in Christ. He has made me just the way I am for a certain purpose. And what is that purpose? To use my unique talents and personality to serve Him and worship him with my whole likeness, with all that I am. With all of my idiosyncrasies.

Finishing books.

            Its funny how life is. We enter new chapters in life. Turn pages. Meet new characters. Its all so intriguing how life seems mirror a book. Its the never-ending metaphor. In graduations we hear countless times the single phrase, "Right now, you're starting a new chapter in life." But for me, I like to look at it as a new book. Life involves far too much to be included in a single book, even if it does have hundreds of chapters. But rather, for me, life is a series of books, each with several chapters pertaining to each different volume. You see, there just some events in life that can't be placed in the same old book. For instance, there are times in life that we wish we could start over and start fresh. In these cases its not enough to simply turn a page and start a new chapter, no. We need a entirely new book. For me, I'm finishing off the end of one of my books. Sure, I still have one year left in the academy - high school, but I can already tell preparations for my next novel are in place. The binding is being prepared, every page is numbered, and the setting is being readied.

         So what's new? My sister has left for college, and oh how I miss her. Far too much. But now even I am making the preparations. Looking at applications, practicing for SAT's, and preparing myself for the busy road ahead. Its hard looking back at the beautiful times in your childhood and knowing that you'll no longer live them out. But it too, is beautiful to know that you have an entire life ahead of you waiting for you to embrace it. You have entire books waiting to be filled with your life experience. Entirely new characters waiting to meet you. And even the special one who will truly make you fall hard for love. The novels will be filled with romance, heartache, fulfillment, love, pain, and everything that comes with life. The hard times will help you see what beautiful means. For, doesn't a desperate fight make the victory seem more beautiful?

"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid."

Cinderella Sunset.

             Tonight was another one of those evenings. Where the air tastes like cotton candy and the sunset smells sweeter than sugarcane. After a long day, I jumped on my bike and rode throughout our neighborhood - sprinkles misting, wind through my hair, the whole deal... it was gorgeous. The moon hung on one end of the sky slowly glowing as the sun set. And oh the sun... it and all its glory shone red with clouds of pink and orange. My word, it was gorgeous. It was like Cinderella's sunset, when she arrived at before twilight at the castle. I couldn't help but smile... You may say that I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one.

Billows and Mangroves.

This week so far has been nothing but billowy clouds and large mangroves. Feathery skies and sparkling waters. Each day I've sat out in the sun soaking up the rays and washing my body in the warm salty ocean. Pure bliss, that's what its been.

The mornings are full of home-made bread and family laughter. The afternoons are occupied with sand and sunshine. The evenings are enjoyed with delicious barbecues and fun-filled games. The nights are relished with sweet slumber.

I've been resting. This has been a time to finally sit before the Lord in a restful spirit and praise Him for His blessings. Praise God for vacations while on summer holiday. Did I ever mention I'm in love with summer?

le rêveur.

           It means "the dreamer." In history they've always been here, the dreamers. In my last post I questioned, "Where are the dreamers?" but as I've taken the time to look around, I've actually come face to face with some people who embody this visionary-type persona. I've realized dreamers don't just simply come out saying, "I'm a dreamer, here me roar," but rather they leave the mystery up to their audience. In history, if we take the time to do some research, dreamers are everywhere. Walt Disney is a classic example of one. He envisioned dreams coming true and eventually planned to make a "land" where he could help other's dreams come true. Farther back we see people like Jane Austen, who led a very romantically sad life, yet expressed her longings for true love in her writing and fantasized her deepest desires the through the written word. Then there's the ambitious souls, the founding fathers, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock - all dreamed of an ideal state where men and women could find freedom and liberty. And Martin Luther King, who stated quite blatantly stated, "I have dream." He desired equality for all.

             So, I guess, I've made a huge mistake. I've admitted to you all that I'm a dreamer. Real dreamers never do that, they leave that up for you to choose. Oops, so the the essence of wonder is gone, but I'll still let you decide that. However, there are different types of dreamers, so I guess there's still a bit of mystery to me, which type of dreamer am I? There's the idealist, someone who dreams of perfection in different aspects of everyday life. Then there's the visionary, the one who starts revolutions to fight for what they believe in. And then there's the romanticists, those who dream of love and beauty in nature, you know, those who blog about sunsets and rainbows and "all things beautiful and bright." I think I know some of those... 

              But unfortunately, we dreamers sometimes have a huge problem. We dream. However sometimes, forget to act. Your dreams will never come true if you don't do anything about them. Maybe you'll get lucky here and there, but its time to act, as Taylor Swift says, its time to "Speak Now!" Act upon your dreams, and lift them up to God, He can help you accomplish them.Take delight Him, and he'll place dreams in your heart and help you make them come true.

      "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Where are the dreamers?

           
                   I feel like through my writing and through blogs I've been opened up to a whole new world of people just like me. Dreamers. Writers. Sweet and Fragrant thinkers. I and my fellow bloggers sound so alike. Our thoughts. Our love for all things beautiful and bright. Our views on Christianity. I've read the deep thoughts. And I love it, because its a rare find people today who actually still think this way. I search for those who actually communicate their thoughts like this and its really hard to find them. In fact, in my life I have yet to meet a dreamer face to face quite like myself. This isn't pride speaking, quite the contrary actually. I just feel like a loner sometimes. I wonder if I'm strange for thinking too deeply and provoking more thoughts than words.
            Am I the only one who feels this way? Aren't there other dreamers out there? I have amazing friends, but sometimes they just view my blog as a "cute" site. When in actuality, its my outpourings. My dreams. My love. My inspired thoughts. More than a "cute" little blog. Aren't there others who dream about living in a world without buildings only perfect grasses and caves. The trees and sky as our only canopy? Aren't there others who dream about how sweet and pure love should be? How we've sadly left our first Love? Aren't there others who dream of being a bird, so that we could fly away into the azure enveloping sky? Aren't there others who wish they were children again? Rid of the duties and disciplines sprung upon us as we grow in age? Am I the only one who dreams these thoughts?

The Daisy.

           My favorite flower? The daisy. Its simple beauty has enchanted many throughout the years. Whether daisies were used for decorating Egyptian pots or in hair garlands of Crete, they were examples of simple glory. So what is the symbolism of the daisy? Daisies have long been thought to represent innocence, purity, beauty, and patience. My perfect flower. These days, innocence is looked down upon. The innocent are looked upon as uneducated and uncultured in the ways of the world. Yet, the daisy, a simple innocent beauty is not looked down upon. It’s nothing like the wild rose or the tulip, yet still intrinsic in its own way. It is the small flower growing on the roadside, sometimes unseen, but never forgotten.

             One day, I hope that daisies will make up the bouquets at my wedding. Their symbolism of patience will represent the time I’ve waited for my husband. Their innocence will be a symbol of my purity. And their simple beauty will represent everything that God has created me to be. Daisies. My perfect flower.

Childhood on a bike.

 

         
        Now. There are many who don't quite understand the meaning of a bike. A apparatus for exercise. A mode of transportation. A item for neighborhood fun. Maybe even a strange tool to get away. But for me, a bicycle is the means I use to dream. It is pen I use to write a fairy-tale, the magic carpet I ride as means to sail through the sky, and the shooting star I harness in order to flit through the galaxy. So much excitement for a simple bike? Yes, and I'll tell you why.
           I'm sure when I'm older, I'll look back on my years as a teenager and mostly remember my time on my bike. That's what will come to mind. My high school years may be a bit blurry, but the time I spent on my bike will be crystal clear. If people asked me to describe my 16th year in three words, "bicycle" would be one of them. Yes, bicycle is a noun, but what would happen if we turned it into an adjective? For me.... bicycle would mean dreamy, free, exhilaration. Me and bicycle dreams. When you ride down the paved sidewalks, past the green manicured lawns, with the wind kissing your face and the breeze billowing through your hair, your cares are left behind. You literally ride away your worries.
           Sometimes as I ride by bike I grab on to the nearest limb of a tree and get a handful of leaves. As I continue to ride I let them slip away from my clasp one....by one....by one.... until they're all gone and blown away into the breeze. Just like the leaves, my worries leave me as I ride on my bike. So this is why I treasure something as simple as a bicycle. It causes me to dream and takes away my worries. What is better than that?

Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift and Civil Wars

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window darling

Everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold onto to this lullaby

Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes

You'll be alright

Come morning light,

You and I'll be safe and sound...

16.

              1 month and 17 days. Then I turn 17. As weird as it may sound, I'm kinda sad to be another year older. When I was 6 years old I dreamed of the day I'd turn 16, thinking I'd have a cat, a car, and a boyfriend. I have none of these. And I'm happy. Instead I have 2 rabbits, a permit, and some really amazing friends. My 16th year was not as good as I thought it would be, It was better. I experienced a mission trip to Haiti, made more friends, got more invovled in church outreaches, and now, several weeks before my 17th birthday I will be heading out to another mission trip, this time in Mexico. So 16. Wasn't so bad. In fact, I don't ever want to leave this age, but before I fully commit to this year and longing to be 16 forever, I need to remember 17 could be even better. So 17, soon we'll meet, and when we do, promise me you'll be as good to me as 16 was. 

All Smiles

The cold weather and excessively fun weekend ahead of me puts me in all smiles today. Its just one of those days where you ride your bike down the street singing along with your tinny sounding iPod with no care in the world. Of course the cars passing you probably think you're a bit loopy, but in all actuality you're just happy to be where you are with everyone who surrounds you. That's how today is. A day where all I want to do is relax and enjoy the cool autumn breeze while basking in the radiance of the sun. I guess I'm a bit corny... but that's how dreamers are sometimes.

Always a child...

             It's true, I will always be a child at heart. Sure, in life we must move on, grow up, and be mature enough to handle our own families eventually, but for some reason I will always believe in fairy-tales. I honestly believe that if Cinderella was a real person, she'd be my role model. I mean, she had such a sweet heart, she put up with evil step-sisters, and even when clothed in rags her kind heart and natural beauty shined like diamonds. And well, we also can't forget that a single pair of shoes changed her life. Of course it helped that she had fairy-godmother and was friends with mice that could sew. But even so, against all odds, her life was drastically changed. One night at a dance (she didn't even have a date!) and the next week she marries a prince and becomes a princess living in a beautiful castle. Thank goodness Christ did the same thing for us. One day a we're a wretched sinner, the next His glorious bride for all eternity. That's truly a "happily, ever after."

School Work and Daydreams

             I've found it especially hard lately to keep my mind focused on school. I sit there staring at my computer screen trying to write a paper or finish a research project and my mind just drifts. Its incredibly annoying, but enjoyable at the same time. Homecoming week is coming up and I've already bought my dress for the dance. I keep thinking of that enchanting night and the excitement that's coming and I just loose focus a bit. Its probably not healthy. But even so, I thought might post some pictures. Below is a picture of my dress :)

Now Here's the hair I'm aiming for.

And the eye make up... (Smokey/cat eye...)

And here's the shoes... classic black heels.

Let's just establish I'm a bit too excited. Anyways, I'd better get back to my homework. 

Picture Perfect?

What will it feel like when we're together?
          How will we show our love towards one another?
                    Will he be handsome and strong?
                              When we share that first kiss, will it be pure and innocent?
                                        Will I be a better person because of him?
                                                  When will he step into my life?
                                                            Will he hold me in his arms?
                                                                      Will the wedding be sparkling?
                                                                               How will he draw me closer to God?
                                                                                      Will he make me feel special?
                                                                                               Will he twirl me around the dance floor?
                                                                                                        How will I draw him closer to God?
                                                       
          Will it be... picture perfect?

Can you breath?

                   Some scenes seem to be right out of an storybook. They take your breath away. This is one of them. The sparkling water. The small Italian town. Boats floating out in the azure water. Cliffs, sunshine, rolling hills... beauty. Some days I dream myself into a beautiful place somewhere far away. Nothing's wrong there, only beauty and love exist. Adventure is around every turn. The sun does not always shine, yet when it does rain, there's always a rainbow out. Nights are filled with auroras, and the sunrises and sunsets there are beyond anything you've ever seen. Slight breezes are off the bay and the smell of jasmine always fills the air. In the evenings crickets sing sweet symphonies. In the mornings birds chirp soothing songs and awake the sleepy town with their beautiful melodies. And of course, what would a beautiful town be without those you love in it?
                    In this town there's my family, and friends, and loved ones. And of course, what's a dream without the love of your life? I haven't found mine yet. Yet here, he waits for me. I can't see his face, I only can feel his strength and love. Then I realize, its not his love and strength that calms me as I wait for him, yet its the Lord's love. He romances me with His endearment while I wait for the one that will one day come and sweep me off my feet. But even though, this place is what many may call a "happy place" and does not exist, the love and strength that I dream of, does also exist in reality. God sends it to me each and every day. 


Dreams don't always come true, let's be real, yet God's love is better than any dream... and its a reality.