Lessons From Pooh.

                 "How lucky 

        am I to 

       have something 

                        that makes  

 saying goodbye  

          so hard."

                             -Winnie the Pooh

Rest.

"Be still and know that I am God." - Psalm 46.10

Wait quietly.

“Wait quietly in My presence while My thoughts form silently in the depths of your being. Do not try to rush this process, because hurry keeps your heart earthbound.“ - Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
              
                I'm going to be so honest here. Today was confusing and stressful and great and horrible all in the same. I leave tomorrow for 3 days to visit a possible future college choice. Its been so busy here and just the thought of being our of the loop for 3 days doesn't appeal to me. But, I'm still going. On top of it all, I'm finishing up the application process for a few colleges, which is rather stressful, and preparing for another application. I'm also missing my sister horribly and feeling rather lonely. I don't know which guy to like and who to trust. And on top of that all I have school and church ministries and academic scholarship programs and.....

Hush.

In the middle of all my complaining and ranting about all my troubles my eternal Love comes in and quiets me. I just need somewhere to breath. Something to rejuvenate me. And He will do just that. I don't want a hurried earthbound heart, but rather one that is caught up in Christ's peaceful and calming beauty.

Warring.

Will I ever learn? Will I ever stop being so shallow? Will I ever learn to grow up? God, I wish I could keep my lips closed. I wish I could keep my heart unshaken. I wish I could contain my feelings. It hurts me. To look back and see myself so prideful. So full of myself and full of my own desires. Where is that heart of Christ I long for? Where is the beautifully redeemed side of me? I wish it would shine through. I wish I could simply be Yours God. I hate sin. But by do I do what I so much hate? Why do I still war against my fleshly self when it has already been put to death? O dear God, please help me.

  "14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.      21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.(Romans 7: 14-25) 

 

Sonet CXI.

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark 

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 

Within his bending sickle's compass come: 

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

   If this be error and upon me proved,

   I never writ, nor no man ever loved." 

~William Shakespeare

Alone with God.

I feel isolated. Alone.

            These were my thoughts for the past few nights. After being up late and working on homework for hours, I'd nestle into bed. My parents had already fallen into a deep sleep and it was then I'd feel utter loneliness. Usually I'd have my sister to sit in my room or talk to me while I worked but she's at college now. And silence has replaced her sweet spirit. So, far into the night I'd talk to God, feel his presence and yet still complain about being lonely. It was then I realized I that it was finally time I depended on Him alone. Why?

“If God is preparing you to make an impact on this world for His kingdom, chances are He will take you though a season of solitude. This is a season when you learn that you can’t lean upon anyone but Him for your confidence and when you gain the strength to stand alone even when no one stands with you.” (Leslie Ludy)

           Its beautiful how God reveals his purposes. He knew my of my loneliness and He didn't hesitate to share with me the reason for my solitude - so that I may know how to impact the world for Him when all I have is Him. I can't think of it as dreadful isolation, but rather a beautiful time alone with Christ. Its best explained by Henri Nouwen.

“The Desert Fathers did not think of solitude as being alone, but as being alone with God. They did not think of silence as not speaking, but as listening to God. Solitude and silence are the context within which prayer is practiced.”

Within my solitude, I shall listen to the calming voice of Christ. 

                                          I shall quieted by His love. 

                                                                              And warmed in His presence.

Free.

                "It’s the moment when humanity
      Is overcome by majesty
                             When grace is ushered in for good
And all our scars are understood
                                           When mercy takes its rightful place
               And all these questions fade away
                                      When out of the weakness we must bow
And hear You say “It’s over now.”

-The Hurt & The Healer (MercyMe)

Patient Endurance

"Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised." ~Hebrews 10:36

Guard Your Heart

Letter from a knight...

"My dearest Jocelyn:

It is strange to think, I have not seen you in a month.
I have seen the new moon, but not you.
I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face.
The pieces of my broken heart can pass through the eye of a needle.
I miss you like the sun misses the flower.Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.
Instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has sent me to.
I next compete in Paris. I'll find it empty and cold if you're not there.
Hope guides me. It gets me through the day and especially the night.The hope that after you leave my sight it will not be the last time I look upon you.
With all the love that I possess...I remain yours...

The knight of your heart.

William."


Poem from "A Knight's Tale" ^

Rend Your Heart.

“Even now,” declares the LORD, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Who knows? He may turn and relent and leave behind a blessing..."
~Joel 2:12-14a (A verse God has really laid on my heart...)