Upon reflection.

I will begin by saying how personal this blog post is to me and the strength I have needed to post it. Please read with an understanding heart.

 Being home I have the an opportunity to reflect upon my last semester of college. Three words have come to mind during my reflection. 
Adjustment. 

Stagnant. 

Hopeful.

Adjustment.

     College has been an adjustment for me. It is so much more different than I could have imagined in both good and bad ways. I have found that I have adjusted my time to fit my school and work schedules as well as making room for my social life. Unfortunately my time with Christ is where I have compromised. In a sense, I have been fitting Him in. Whether it was the extra half hour before bed with my flashlight, or the ten minutes of free time before my laundry was finished, instead of adjusting the busyness of life for Christ, I have adjusted my time with Christ for busyness. This in turn has led to the next word.

Stagnant.

     Where is my spiritual growth? Surely I haven't turned away from God. I've continued to read His word, have had deep conversation about his faithfulness, served Him through volunteering, and prayed before meals and bed. But yet, I feel farther away from Him than before I left for college. And why? I squeezed Him into my schedule and prided myself in this as if it was my own humble deeds. I've drowned in self-righteousness. And through it all I have been so loveless. Tonight my sister read 1 Corinthians 13. I realized what a case I have made for Paul's words. The chapter reads,

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."

      How little anything profits without love. And how little I have profited the Lord. Oh that I may change. Oh that I may learn to love well. Oh that I may be broken by my selfishness and desire to bring glory to Him alone. 

Hopeful.

     And yet, in all of my sin, I praise God for His grace and His mercies. Praise God, for He has given me the grace to recognize my self-righteous spirit. He has chosen by His sovereignty to reveal to me the darkness of my ways. Praise Him who forgives and desires to change my stagnant heart. "His love never fails." And because He has first loved me, may I now love Him and love others. I know that the Lord my God is faithful and that He will complete the work which He has started in me. (Philippians 1:1-11) And in this I have hope.

Well, one semester down.

         I am happy to say that I have officially survived my first semester of college. My goodness, what a journey it has been. I have loved the many memories and laughs I have shared with my new friends. Hikes in the mountains with people I'll never forget, dinners and deep talks with girls on my hall, and countless beautiful sunsets while sitting in the arms of my Creator - everything has swept me off my feet, challenged me, and taught me to remember God's faithfulness.

        College is funny in that it makes you continually question who you are and what you're doing. I for one, still haven't figured that out quite yet. I know my God, but still do not know all that He has in store for me.  And what I've realized is that no one has it all figured out. Not even those who seem to continually radiate Christ. We all are working through life, unknowing of what will happen next and filled with wonder about our futures. But if there's one thing I've learned its this,

"But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one... May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ." (2 Thessalonians 3:3,5)

      

So what does God hold in store for me during this next semester and in this coming year?

I have no clue. But I'm excited to find out because He is faithful.

10 days.

10 days until I go back to sunny florida for Christmas break. I can't describe how I feel about it. I'm not just saying that to be artsy, I mean it. I don't know how I feel about it. I love my home here in the mountains. How marvelous it is to be nestled up in my college window seat, chilly air numbing my fingers as they hit the keys of my computer. I feel as if I'm sitting up in the sky. The trees are all bare here and a deep gray has taken over the entire mountain. Today is the first day in a long time that the sun has been out and how marvelous it is, my relationship with this mountain is surely something special. As I typer a hang-glider is soaring adjacent to me over the valley below. How amazing to be here. How blessed I am. Oh how I love it.

Be all there.

        Rain taps against the glass. Lights whoosh by the car. The continual hum of pavement passes beneath the car. My parents converse in the front seats and I sit quietly in the back tapping on my keys. We’re driving 80mph away from the place I love so much – my Floridian home. I’m beginning to learn I have to be okay with moving on, letting go, and making new memories. I need to learn to make new memories in new places with new people. Recently a quote by Jim Eliot grabbed my attention. He stated, 

“Wherever you are, be all there.”

        That’s my goal now, to be wherever I am, and not just in physical presence, but completely there in all aspects. 

Prayers from home.

How marvelous it is to sit here at home. To be quiet. To rest. To breath in the warm sticky Florida air and listen to the crickets, the wind chimes, and the rustling of trees in the wind. God, these past few months have been so busy. So full of fun, but the same time so hard and tiring. I'm thankful that you are continuously with me at college and that you go before me. I'm thankful for your presence at all moments. As I enter into these last few weeks before the semester ends, please guide me. Help me do what is right even when its so hard. Help to be patient, even when I'm being tested. Guide me in your paths of your righteousness and help me to live by faith. Let your will be done in my life, deliver me from all that would cause me to sin, and guide me. Continuously. For you alone are faithful.
I love you Lord.

Busy days.

         I realize I haven't been around all to much, and I'm sorry for that, but thanks for still being loyal enough to follow along. I've been so busy with school lately its been absolutely crazy. However, my winter break comes is less than 5 days so I just have to hang in here a little longer and then I'll be all finished for this semester. And then? Well after this semester I'll enter my last semester of high school. What was that? Last. Semester. Of. High. School. Craziness, absolute craziness. And guess what? I think I've chosen my college! Covenant College is my choice I'm pretty sure. I honestly can't wait to sign up, I just have to wait and see the scholarship package I receive just to make sure. Life has sure flown by, it seems like just yesterday I was swinging on my swing-set with my sister and coloring for homework and now, well now I'm planning out the rest of my life. Be careful. Life is busy and crazy and it honestly moves by so fast.
          I also wanted to let you all know that I have some big plans for this blog in the new year. I'm planning on completely redesigning it with a blogger "dynamic view" or a new layout. It'll be definitely different but the same old me writing here! So hang around y'all. I'll be keeping you updated.

Its Been a While...

Sorry everyone, I must admit, I had free time - Thanksgiving Break in fact! Yet, I didn't write to you all. I'm sorry, sometimes you just need a break from the blogger's sphere. But I'm here now, and since I've been gone, I had an amazing thanksgiving with my family (My sister came home from college!), put up Christmas decorations, started more scholarships, and drank up the joy of a refreshing week off of school. It was a refreshment to sleep in and awaken bathed in sunlight. It was a joy to stay up late laughing like a child with my sister like old times. It was a pleasure to go outside and soak up the cool winter air. What a wonderful break I've had. Be prepared, for I am sure ready to blog once more. I have an app on my phone to prove it. P.S. I'm going to start a 31 day blog challenge soon, so be excited!

Colliding Thoughts

            Its beautiful out. The weather's cool, the sky a velvety black. Its night and all is quiet. All I can hear are the thoughts running through my head as swift as a river. My life is unfolding before me. Before I know it I'll be packing for college and starting a career. Its all moving so quick. I've always thought that in life there are people who are made grown ups and some who are made children. And now it seems I'm utterly and completely wrong. Because I, who was a child, is now being and changing into an adult. Crazy isn't it? I'll be legally an adult almost 3 months. Where will I go in life? Who will I become? How far will I go to make sure that I am obeying and living for Christ?
           Its getting  late now and my eyelids have slowly begun to sink downwards. The day is ending and a many more shall begin, in fact, now that I ponder it, I've realized that I shall never stop existing from now on until the end of eternity. That's a huge thought. And its all because of the One who made me. The One who knows where I am now and where I will be. Unto Him be all the credit.

10 days.

        My fellow blog readers, I will be away for the next 10 days with no internet. Although while some may be thoroughly upset by such a condition, I'm brimming with some joy. Why? Because sometimes no internet can be a relief, a time away from the online world and a vacation into the real world, the physical 3D world, not a 2D screen. So while I'm away I have 3 challenges for you. I'd like to keep you busy.
         1. Discover a new passion, whether its a listening to a new favorite artist, finding a new hobby, or attending a new bible study at your church. Discover a new passion.
         2. Find a hidden treasure. Now I'm not talking about a literal treasure although that's fun too. I'm saying go out on a limb. Eat somewhere you haven't before, discover a hidden cave, look us in the old attic, venture down to your basement and find something amazing.
         3. Get friends involved. What's finding hidden treasure and new passions without a few friends? And also... if you could, maybe invite people to follow this blog as well. My goal is to get to 30 followers by the end of this year, will you help me with that?
          Alright, well that's all for now, see you in 10 days. And feel free to share your findings with me below! Let me know if something totally amazing happens! Love you all. Talk to you soon.

My Life in Florida...

                So, my life in Florida? I received the idea for this post from Nela at "Beloved Star." What is the great state of Florida like? First of all, I need to specify that there are 3 different parts of Florida. The Southern tip that consists of  Miami and its surrounding areas is the first. Many of us Floridians refer to this as an extension of Cuba considering 99.9% of its inhabitants speak Spanish. "South Florida", the 2nd part of Florida, consists of a few cities, but mainly I think of it as Floridian suburbia and touristy beach shops (I inhabit this section). And then there's Northern Florida, which we choose to call Georgia. I can really only tell about "South Florida" although I have visited each of the other parts.

                Days typically start for me around 10am (during the summers). I wake up, grab a South Beach Diet protein bar, and drink a glass of Floridian orange juice. That's our main product here (other than tourism and sunshine). Idaho has potatoes, Iowa has corn, Georgia has peaches, well, we've got oranges  - tropical delicious oranges. My days typically vary but they're usually busied with shopping with friends, the beach, or going out for lunch with my sister. I live more in Floridian suburbia than the touristy area although I visit there often.

               Its weird always feeling like I'm always on vacation during the summer. The beach is only 30 minutes away from my house and we've got a pool as well, so I'm always prepared at any moment to go swimming. Even in January, we heat up the pool so while you northerners are ice skating we're swimming in the pool, or even sometimes at the beach. I guess this is something I feel like we can boast about here in Florida. Its the beachy atmosphere and I love it. Its amazing how you can walk into a restaurant sandy and in a bathing suit and cover-up and no one treats it as unusual. Its also awesome how you can facebook your friends the day before and meet up at the beach, go to the usual lunch spot, and grab ice cream in your bathing suit when you're hot sitting by the water.

              Many evenings I ride my bike around our neighborhood. The sun is setting the air is cooling. The day begins to wind down. In summer its light out in 8 or 8:30 which is rather nice. Its these days, I somehow manage to stay up til 2 almost every night. This probably isn't very healthy but that's just how the day goes I guess.

               Part of me wishes that I grew up in the "small town" atmosphere where everyone knows each other. I kind of enjoy the natural beauty of old rustic barns, corn fields, and quaint shopping plazas. I mean don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with Florida's suburbs, planned landscaping, and international shopping malls, in fact that what makes my home what it is.

               O yes, another defining point of Florida is its weather. Wow, our weather here is quite bipolar. It can be a perfectly beautiful day with cloudless skies and yet 30 minutes later a thunderstorm can somehow manage to form. During the summer it rains almost every afternoon or evening. It also unbearably humid all the time here. But the rains and humidity add to its tropical feel. In the end I love my home state. Rainy, tropical, cultural, beachy, whatever you call it, to me its home.

Guest Post: Few-and-far-between Friends

          As you read this, I'm in Haiti again on a mission trip with my church! So being occupied here, I've asked my sister (and best friend) to write a guest post for you all! She too has her own blog called "Sweeter than Honey." You can look at it here! Please check it out and even follow, her heart for Christ truly shows throughout her writing. So, without any further wait... I'll hand this post over to her!

Tonight I sit in my own room typing on my computer.  I'm alone and the room is quiet.  Click click click go the computer keys.  Right now I'm not drinking snapple peach tea or recounting the day's events.  I am not watching a silly romantic comedy that I have memorized because I have seen it too many times.  I am not talking about what God revealed to me today or passionately explaining how burdened I am for a certain ministry, country, or person.  I miss my sister.  Because if she were here, that's what I would be doing.


Over the past 17 years, my friendship with Brittany Audrey has really grown and blossomed.  And though we both now are beginning to separate paths- with me going away to college in the fall and her preparing to go somewhere else next year, I still know our friendship will survive.  After 17 years of cheesy chick-flick watching, crying, crafting, traveling, laughing, encouraging one another, eating Coldstone's together, and simply talking, I trust our friendship, with God's help, can survive just about anything.


One of the things I have realized I treasure most about our friendship is the honesty and accountability we hold each other to.  Since I recently led a camp group of 10 high school girls, I realized how few-and-far-between true accountability is.  It's difficult at my church to find a group of peers that you can be honest around- admit your faults and proclaim your victories to.  It's also even more challenging to find older women to look up to- to seek advice from.  


I think some of the biggest influences in how my life has gone thus far are these people- the accountability partners and mentors.  They have encouraged me to stand strong in God when I felt like giving up.  They heard me out when I did not know what to do or was overwhelmed with fear or doubt.  They proclaimed to me God's truth when lies were overcoming me.  


Of these, Brittany has been the most consistent.  It's beautiful how God puts people in our lives that help us draw closer to Him.  It's even more beautiful to know that mine is my sister- and that I can always count on her. 


Lissa Anne
Sweeterthanhoney119.blogspot.com/

Post 100!

            Its my 100th post everyone! Yay to me. Yay to us! I feel like I should write out some huge letter explaining why this is so special and how I feel empowered by this experience, but I shall save both of us the time. However, I feel that's its necessary to reflect on all God's taught me through this blog. I started off with intentions to share my thoughts and what's God's taught me, but this has become to much more. I've poured out my feelings to you all, my heartaches, my desires, and deepest ponderings. So thank-you all for listening and reading. Below I am posting the links to my top 10 favorite posts I've ever written so enjoy! Click away. Read up. And hopefully get others to follow too!

1. What's with the name?
2. Me... A Princess?
3. Childhood on a Bike
4. Eden.
5. Vintage Clothes
6. le reveur 
7. Where are the dreamers?
8. Fearless?
9. What's love these days?
10. People Pleaser?

le rêveur.

           It means "the dreamer." In history they've always been here, the dreamers. In my last post I questioned, "Where are the dreamers?" but as I've taken the time to look around, I've actually come face to face with some people who embody this visionary-type persona. I've realized dreamers don't just simply come out saying, "I'm a dreamer, here me roar," but rather they leave the mystery up to their audience. In history, if we take the time to do some research, dreamers are everywhere. Walt Disney is a classic example of one. He envisioned dreams coming true and eventually planned to make a "land" where he could help other's dreams come true. Farther back we see people like Jane Austen, who led a very romantically sad life, yet expressed her longings for true love in her writing and fantasized her deepest desires the through the written word. Then there's the ambitious souls, the founding fathers, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Hancock - all dreamed of an ideal state where men and women could find freedom and liberty. And Martin Luther King, who stated quite blatantly stated, "I have dream." He desired equality for all.

             So, I guess, I've made a huge mistake. I've admitted to you all that I'm a dreamer. Real dreamers never do that, they leave that up for you to choose. Oops, so the the essence of wonder is gone, but I'll still let you decide that. However, there are different types of dreamers, so I guess there's still a bit of mystery to me, which type of dreamer am I? There's the idealist, someone who dreams of perfection in different aspects of everyday life. Then there's the visionary, the one who starts revolutions to fight for what they believe in. And then there's the romanticists, those who dream of love and beauty in nature, you know, those who blog about sunsets and rainbows and "all things beautiful and bright." I think I know some of those... 

              But unfortunately, we dreamers sometimes have a huge problem. We dream. However sometimes, forget to act. Your dreams will never come true if you don't do anything about them. Maybe you'll get lucky here and there, but its time to act, as Taylor Swift says, its time to "Speak Now!" Act upon your dreams, and lift them up to God, He can help you accomplish them.Take delight Him, and he'll place dreams in your heart and help you make them come true.

      "Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4)

Where are the dreamers?

           
                   I feel like through my writing and through blogs I've been opened up to a whole new world of people just like me. Dreamers. Writers. Sweet and Fragrant thinkers. I and my fellow bloggers sound so alike. Our thoughts. Our love for all things beautiful and bright. Our views on Christianity. I've read the deep thoughts. And I love it, because its a rare find people today who actually still think this way. I search for those who actually communicate their thoughts like this and its really hard to find them. In fact, in my life I have yet to meet a dreamer face to face quite like myself. This isn't pride speaking, quite the contrary actually. I just feel like a loner sometimes. I wonder if I'm strange for thinking too deeply and provoking more thoughts than words.
            Am I the only one who feels this way? Aren't there other dreamers out there? I have amazing friends, but sometimes they just view my blog as a "cute" site. When in actuality, its my outpourings. My dreams. My love. My inspired thoughts. More than a "cute" little blog. Aren't there others who dream about living in a world without buildings only perfect grasses and caves. The trees and sky as our only canopy? Aren't there others who dream about how sweet and pure love should be? How we've sadly left our first Love? Aren't there others who dream of being a bird, so that we could fly away into the azure enveloping sky? Aren't there others who wish they were children again? Rid of the duties and disciplines sprung upon us as we grow in age? Am I the only one who dreams these thoughts?

My Fairy-Godmother Moment

         Today I realized my sister is sort of like my fairy-godmother. She comes in to make days brighter even when things have been dull. Today for instance, I took my last A.P. exam. It was long and tiring and last night was a bit rough so I was a bit wounded and ready to break down and give up. After a lunch with friends and a calming talk with my mom today began to look brighter. And then. To top it all off, my sister away in Africa leaves me a beautiful note.

Now if you didn't read the full note, at the end she told me to look in the bottom drawer of her desk and what did I find?

         The makings of a perfect evening! A candle, tea, a mug from anthro, a journal, a facial scrub, goggles for summer, The best cookies and icing on the planet, and one of my favorite movies of all time. She is such a doll! I miss her even more now, but I'm so thankful to have a sister that blesses me even when she's not here. She came in and was a magical fairy-godmother today! <3

Dashing and Adventurous

I'm not superstitious, but when I saw this in my fortune cookie I smiled to myself. So. Is my life a dashing and bold adventure? I think we can sometimes only hope to have such a dashing and adventurous life. And as a dreamer myself, I really do hope for this.

Thoughts.

            The human has approximately 70,000 thoughts in a single day. I think I've got several thousand more than that. I think all day long. Or dream? I'm such a dreamer. When God created me, I'm sure he said. "This is Audrey. She'll be a dreamer and a romantic. She'll try to make life a fairy-tale." And therefore here I am today. A dreamer and romantic at heart. I feel like this post may be kind of self-centered simply because its pouring out all all the things I love. Things I dream about. But I guess that what blogs are for. Rambling about yourself and your own thoughts.

           I love. Sunshine and windy skies. Purple shaded sunsets. The color red. Butterflies. Daisies. Getting messy. Painting. Lacey dresses. Bicycles. Coffee shop atmospheres. Little vintage boutiques. Fancy cupcakes. Cinderella. Islands in the sun. Old movies. Venice waterways. Floating lanterns. Fireflies. Sparkles in the sky. Lilly pads on lakes. Polaroid cameras. Audrey Hepburn. Ella Fitzgerald. Frank Sinatra. 

I'm Back!

              Hey y'all, sorry its been a long time since I've written. I've been caught up with our school's play, homework, reviewing for A.P. tests, and registering for the SAT. So anyways... enough of the boring things and on to the fun stuff. My school's prom is coming up in a few months and obviously, as you can imagine there's so much excitement. Us girls are beginning to look for dresses and the guys are saving up their cash to pay for another ticket for their date. Don't we girls get it good? So below are a few of my ideas for prom. Mainly shoes and dresses I like. This year, I either want to classy or princessy.

A more classy look paired with some silver high heels most likely something like the shoe below.
  

And my favorite kinds of princessy dresses... Salmon and Mint some of my favorite colors

 or

And these dresses would either be paired with a pair of strapped silver heels or nude pumps. (as seen below).

Fearless?

            I’m so easily dictated by fear. Afraid to serve God. For so long I hide, easily passing by. Being comfortable. Because it’s so easy. It is. It’s easy to blend in. But what impact do we have for Christ if all we do is blend in? If all we say is to please others? What kind of person are we if we just fade into the background and serve God in the comfort of our own rooms? We hide our talents and coil in shame when asked to share them with others because of our fear. We turn to the corner and cower. We let the devil take hold. We give into his lies believing we aren’t good enough to do what God has called us to. “You’re a hopeless sinner of a dirty whorish race,” he tells us. 

           And it’s hard for us to refute this statement since we know it’s true. “All have sinned.”  Yet what Satan leaves off is this: God, the artist of the world the molder and framer of the entire universe sent his only son to die a brutal death. A death of blood. Humiliation. Mockery. Pain. And through this… He redeemed this whorish, ugly, dirty race. He married the harlot of Israel. He loved the least of these. The accusations the Devil states that hold us down in fear are not complete statements. He tells us our story. He tells the tale well, and sometimes so accurately we have no choice to accept it. Yet he tells us the tale and leaves off the “happily, ever after.” We are left fearful and in despair. He leaves out the love. He leaves out the peace. He gives us fear and makes us coil in shame never feeling worthy to serve such a King as God.  

          So now I wonder, why have I been held back in fear? I realize that while my sinful nature is nothing beautiful, God has renewed me and made me His and through His redemption I am now worthy to serve Him. It does not matter what others say. It does not matter if I have not the qualifications. God does not call the equipped. He equips the called.

The Daisy.

           My favorite flower? The daisy. Its simple beauty has enchanted many throughout the years. Whether daisies were used for decorating Egyptian pots or in hair garlands of Crete, they were examples of simple glory. So what is the symbolism of the daisy? Daisies have long been thought to represent innocence, purity, beauty, and patience. My perfect flower. These days, innocence is looked down upon. The innocent are looked upon as uneducated and uncultured in the ways of the world. Yet, the daisy, a simple innocent beauty is not looked down upon. It’s nothing like the wild rose or the tulip, yet still intrinsic in its own way. It is the small flower growing on the roadside, sometimes unseen, but never forgotten.

             One day, I hope that daisies will make up the bouquets at my wedding. Their symbolism of patience will represent the time I’ve waited for my husband. Their innocence will be a symbol of my purity. And their simple beauty will represent everything that God has created me to be. Daisies. My perfect flower.