People Pleaser?

           Define yourself. Who is __(insert name here)___? When I'm asked this question, I never know quite what to answer. I guess this is all about growing up and figuring out who you are cause to be honest, I have no idea who or what I am. I don't know if I'm outgoing or easy-going. I'm not sure if I'm unemotional or bubbly. I just I don't  know how to define myself. I can't decide what I am or who I want to be. I'm just... me. The only thing I do know about myself is this... I like to make others happy. I like to please others. And so... the other night I finally realized that if the world were to make a general statement of me, I would be labeled... "The people pleaser." Not the best thing. I don't think people would down-right admit that to my face, but in life, that has kind of been my aim. To have others like me. And so, with all that pressure, one can sometimes have far too many break-downs and exhaustive evenings. So. Yes, I've given this up to the Lord countless times, asking him to take away the burden of always feeling the need to please others. And like a normal human being I take back the burden time and time again. Why? Because that is what I define myself by. That's all I really know of who I am.

               But see, I keep forgetting this. I am not defined by my actions or personality or social skills. It is God who defines me. He has called me His. He says I am His beautiful daughter, a lovely child in the Family of righteousness. He is my definition. So while I'm here worrying about who and what I am, He looks down from heaven calling out "I am your definition, I define you." And there is relief in that. I don't have please them anymore. I don't have to always strain to be in the "social circle." There is rest in these words. And that's what I need most, rest. You see, someone once told me that in the late hours of the night when your body is tired, your soul is the most vulnerable. And in the late hours of the night when I'd cry in confusion, wondering why the tears fell, I'd utter, "I'm just so tired." Tired of what? Tired of tests, tired of talks, tired of tight social circles. Tired of pleasing others, taking back my burdens, making mistakes. Tired of being weighted down by continuous lies of the devil. David in the Bible felt a bit like this, He vented to the Lord,

"So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I'm just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence.They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about (or to) me." (Psalm 62:3-4)

                  The devil, he does this to me. Tell me lies, tries to break me down. But here's the good part. I, like David, recognize there still is a way out of this. There's a way out of weariness. And where does it come from?

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 62:5-6)

                  So, who am I? I am  Christ's lovely daughter. I am rested. Not a people-pleaser. Not a perfect person. I am a girl who loves sparkles and sunshine, long baths and chick-flicks with a bag of Doritos and peach tea. A girl who enjoys bike rides and walks through the park, Cinderella and dancing in the rain. A girl who thinks you can taste color and smell memories. I'm me. Not a people-pleaser.