The Daisy.

           My favorite flower? The daisy. Its simple beauty has enchanted many throughout the years. Whether daisies were used for decorating Egyptian pots or in hair garlands of Crete, they were examples of simple glory. So what is the symbolism of the daisy? Daisies have long been thought to represent innocence, purity, beauty, and patience. My perfect flower. These days, innocence is looked down upon. The innocent are looked upon as uneducated and uncultured in the ways of the world. Yet, the daisy, a simple innocent beauty is not looked down upon. It’s nothing like the wild rose or the tulip, yet still intrinsic in its own way. It is the small flower growing on the roadside, sometimes unseen, but never forgotten.

             One day, I hope that daisies will make up the bouquets at my wedding. Their symbolism of patience will represent the time I’ve waited for my husband. Their innocence will be a symbol of my purity. And their simple beauty will represent everything that God has created me to be. Daisies. My perfect flower.

No longer 16 going on 17.

                     That's right. Today I am 17. No longer the 16 year old I dreamed of being as a child. I can never get back my 16th year. It was amazing. The best year yet. By far. Here are 16 highlights from being 16. (In no particular order)
1. Haiti Mission Trip
2. Going to Taylor Swift Concert
3. Throwing the most epic surprise party ever for my best friend
4. My Sweet 16 party
5. Trying out for the school play, Beauty and the Beast
6. Mexico Missions Trip
7. Golden Acres Outreach Retreat
8. Homecoming 2011
9. Getting my bike
10. Running for exercise
11. Late night chats with my sister
12. Going to see Mission Impossible 4 with friends
13. Learning how to drive
14. Biking to the park with my sis
15. Making new extra special friends
16. Falling in love.........with JESUS.
                    But even with an amazing 16th year, I'm still thrilled to see what's next for me. What colleges I'll be going to, where I'll be in my spiritual walk, and even what new friends I'll make. I'm excited to now be 17 going on 18. 

People Pleaser?

           Define yourself. Who is __(insert name here)___? When I'm asked this question, I never know quite what to answer. I guess this is all about growing up and figuring out who you are cause to be honest, I have no idea who or what I am. I don't know if I'm outgoing or easy-going. I'm not sure if I'm unemotional or bubbly. I just I don't  know how to define myself. I can't decide what I am or who I want to be. I'm just... me. The only thing I do know about myself is this... I like to make others happy. I like to please others. And so... the other night I finally realized that if the world were to make a general statement of me, I would be labeled... "The people pleaser." Not the best thing. I don't think people would down-right admit that to my face, but in life, that has kind of been my aim. To have others like me. And so, with all that pressure, one can sometimes have far too many break-downs and exhaustive evenings. So. Yes, I've given this up to the Lord countless times, asking him to take away the burden of always feeling the need to please others. And like a normal human being I take back the burden time and time again. Why? Because that is what I define myself by. That's all I really know of who I am.

               But see, I keep forgetting this. I am not defined by my actions or personality or social skills. It is God who defines me. He has called me His. He says I am His beautiful daughter, a lovely child in the Family of righteousness. He is my definition. So while I'm here worrying about who and what I am, He looks down from heaven calling out "I am your definition, I define you." And there is relief in that. I don't have please them anymore. I don't have to always strain to be in the "social circle." There is rest in these words. And that's what I need most, rest. You see, someone once told me that in the late hours of the night when your body is tired, your soul is the most vulnerable. And in the late hours of the night when I'd cry in confusion, wondering why the tears fell, I'd utter, "I'm just so tired." Tired of what? Tired of tests, tired of talks, tired of tight social circles. Tired of pleasing others, taking back my burdens, making mistakes. Tired of being weighted down by continuous lies of the devil. David in the Bible felt a bit like this, He vented to the Lord,

"So many enemies against one man— all of them trying to kill me. To them I'm just a broken-down wall or a tottering fence.They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about (or to) me." (Psalm 62:3-4)

                  The devil, he does this to me. Tell me lies, tries to break me down. But here's the good part. I, like David, recognize there still is a way out of this. There's a way out of weariness. And where does it come from?

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 62:5-6)

                  So, who am I? I am  Christ's lovely daughter. I am rested. Not a people-pleaser. Not a perfect person. I am a girl who loves sparkles and sunshine, long baths and chick-flicks with a bag of Doritos and peach tea. A girl who enjoys bike rides and walks through the park, Cinderella and dancing in the rain. A girl who thinks you can taste color and smell memories. I'm me. Not a people-pleaser.

Busy as a Bee.

Hey y'all sorry I haven't posted in a while. I feel like I have so much to say to you. Let's see. I've had a busy few weeks. So here I'll highlight the specifics.
Mexico Mission Trip
               So here I am, back from my mission trip to Mexico with too many words on my tongue and far too many memories in my head to fathom, let alone put on a page. How can I write everything I've experienced in one single blog post? Its impossible. But I'll try. So we arrived in Cancun Mexico. We then visited the Calvary Chapel Church started there and was blessed and sent out by the pastor. Our team then divided into several groups and began to head separate ways for the next week. As we continued through our trip, we visited 4 different Calvary Chapels started in different locations and villages throughout Mexico(Hocaba, San Felipe, Merida, and Tizimin). At each of the churches we helped out through service projects or VBS for the children at the church. It was amazing to see the joy of the faces of those who we touched. While at Calvary Chapel Tizimin I encountered a new circumstance. After working on the church, we were divided into smaller groups to go on visitation to meet and pray for some of the church members.
            The house I visited belonged to an elderly woman. She had been living by herself in a small home with trash speckled across her front lawn and dirt plastering her red cement floor. Some of my group picked up trash while my friend and I scrubbed her floors clean. It didn't take long to clean the small living room and kitchen of her house, however right when I thought it was over, my leader asked me to step inside her bathroom and clean it. I had walked by it before and keeled over its smell, so this was a stretch for me. As I stepped inside the dimly lit small bathroom I looked around for a toilet, sink, and shower, but what I found was quite different. There was nothing but a whole in the ground for a toilet and a drain for a shower. How blessed we are. A shower and a toilet is not a need as we believe it is. It is a luxury. Do we ever realize that? When we're on a mission trip we live among the people and even experience a bit of destitution ourselves. Of course, we complain as well. And then after a week we're gone and back to our luxuries. It hurts me to know how spoiled I've become. How comfortable I am in my own air-conditioned room and sleeping on my pillow-topped bed. Mexico was liberating.
           You know what I've found about mission trips? When I drive in the back of pick-up trucks or big white vans down dusty bumpy roads, I feel at home. When I look and see old beat-up buildings on my left and my right. It makes so much sense. I feel happy. It feels real. Its nice to see such beautiful imperfection. Its nice to see lawns covered in weeds and natural landscapes. I love seeing wildflowers on the side of the road and vines taking over homes. Its so natural. To see thousands of stars covering the night sky. No light pollution is present, only the stars and the moon shine through the night. Only God's glory is seen. Fulfilling Christ's very words is what we did. His natural beauty was seen. And it was His presence I felt all through the trip.

Church Outreach Retreat
              I'm going to try to cover this in one paragraph considering my last "highlight" probably has exhausted your reading skills. So, this past weekend I went with a group of kids that are involved in the same church outreach as me. We went up to northern Florida to stay in a friend's lake house. While up there we went through some of the book "Radical Together." It was amazing to see my team and I grow closer spiritually and relationally. Empowering worship on the dock under the stars or by the campfire grew us closer in Christ. We also enjoyed recreational activities such as kayaking and going on walks through nature trails. It was an amazing trip. God was and always is so good.
Root Canal
              Right at the end of my retreat I had some unbearable toothaches. My front tooth would throb on and off and by the end of the trip my entire top lip was swollen. Finally, the day after I came back I got to the dentist and found out I had an abscess in my front tooth. Surely enough I went in and got a root canal. I'm still a bit swollen yet the pain is leaving me. It hasn't been fun, but I've learned a lot through the pain.
School Play Rehearsal
             Lastly... I have been quite busy lately with our school's play rehearsal for the musical "Beauty and the Beast." I am part of the ensemble group and in the opening scene I am a milkmaid and during the song "Be Our Guest" I am a feather duster! Its quite riveting. However, soon rehearsal shall be picking up and I may not be able to write as often, but until then, I shall be here faithfully writing my thoughts out to my faithful readers.


P.S. I realize this post is mainly a summary of my life and I apologize for possibly making you all feel like you're reading my diary. That's not my intention. But it happens. Sometimes.

Come like the wind.

             I'm heading out. Tomorrow at this time, I'll be gone. I'll be on the mission field for 7 days.  7 days...To make a difference. To lead many to Christ. To raise hope. To obey the command, "go forth and make disciples." So, as I begin to pack, I'm remembering these words, 

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

            And to that I say..." Come Jesus come. Come like the wind. Fill up this place, we welcome You in. Come Jesus come. Come like the rain. Open the sky, show us your face, oh Lord we wait." (Heaven Fall Down - Song by Phil Wickham) This is my anthem. Lord, do your will on our mission trip to Mexico. For all those who read this, please take time to pray for my team and I. Please pray for health and safety, but most importantly the moving of the Spirit. Pray that lives be changed and hearts be healed for the cause of our Lord. Please Pray. If you'd like to see our day by day travels and hear of our stories please follow our blog while we're gone. (http://ccamerida2012.wordpress.com/)